Today is your lucky day, I have decided to write a bonus Random Thoughts post. If you frequent my blog I am sure you are aware that I am not a huge fan of my current place of employment. However, as much as I do badmouth it and complain, it does have its perks, most notable enough free time while at work to run a blog and write posts. The grass is always greener on the other side and it is easy to wish for something better while not fully appreciating what you already have. Therein lies the problem.
I think I am mostly fully aware and understand what I have. My current position is mostly a dead end job, where I make a modest salary (which is enough to get by and have some fun) but staying here would only subdue my potential future earnings at another more lucrative position. BUT, yes that is a big but, my current position has conditioned me to be almost inherently lazy. So taking a new position would be quite the wakeup call. With that being said I am almost certain that I would have little to no free time to work on my blog at work, which is a travesty I know.
So recently I have been offered a “real,” job as it were, at a reputable company doing very complex stuff, of which I am sure I will be busy the majority of the day. That is why I put real in quotations is because I do not necessarily think my current job is real, as I do not know of other jobs where an individual can devote large amounts of the day to internet surfing.
The big question is am I going to be a sell out, you bet your ass I am, or struggle is make ends meet and do what I love.
Honestly, I don’t think there is any way not to take the new job, the money will be nice and the experience of learning something new will be challenging and hopefully fun, or as fun as it can be. Which sucks because I like my lifestyle now, but I find myself always saying, “if I had more money I could do this or that.” In a perfect world I would be able to do both or even fully support myself writing, that would be ideal, but as you know I live in the real world where things suck and decisions are hard.
The other thing I have found quite interesting about my current situation is that this, despite my whining, is a very good opportunity and something that is potentially a life changer. I can only think of a few other events in my life that were as big as this one, graduating from college (after 4 years mind you) and getting my current position. (I put that last one in there because I was unemployed for a year and worked temporarily for an additional year after that, and paying for my own health insurance!)
What I found interesting was that when I look back on my life events it seems that something good seems to follow something that I would consider bad in my life. Around December my senior year in college I tore my ACL, and a few months later I graduated, which was nothing short of a miracle, from college. This one is kind of a stretch I will admit, but still something bad followed by something good in my life. Getting my first job does not seem to follow this thought process, but I would argue that it was not a good thing to happen in my life, as it was without a doubt the worst job I have ever had in my life. The employment gods were laughing at me from on high at that one.
The next piece that fits into this puzzle is when I accepted the job that I am currently at. As I said I was unemployed for over a year then worked as a temp at another company. That was not bad but I did not have any benefits, no vacation and no health insurance (so I had to purchase my own which is very expensive if you don’t know), so that was not fun. The weird thing with this was that right around the time my girlfriend’s aunt died of cancer. In fact it was within days of me taking the new position. Soon after hearing of her passing I remembered thinking that the circumstances were odd.
At least in my life it seemed that there is only so much luck or good that can happen, so to balance it out something bad needs to happen. It is terrible to say and even think about, but she was very sick and her mind was going as well. She had brain cancer and after she passed everyone was saying that it was for the best because she was never going to leave the hospital. It was very sad and I will never forget that experience.
Which brings me to my current situation, I am sure you are wondering, well what bad thing is happening to you now. Well every so often I have been getting sick, and recently I decided to go to the doctor to see what the issue is. Upon their first diagnosis it appears that I either have an ulcer (which I am hoping for) or gallstones. That’s right what other 29 year old has gallstones? Well I might, and wouldn’t you know it the only thing to do is to cut it out. AWESOME! So upon the eve of some of the best news of my life I am having to potentially deal with a surgery. Although it does not appear to be life threatening, at least I hope not. No one wants to hear the “S” word.
I think in some weird way there is only so much luck in any person’s life and once it runs out then bad things might set in. But the bad gives way for more good things to take place. To me there is some weird cosmic luck balance that needs to be maintained. I have often wondered what other lucky things that have happened in my life to get to this point that seems to be one in one out.
A few come to mind, but I guess it really makes you wonder about all the things in yours, or my life that either didn’t happen or happened in such a manner that the best outcome for you occurred. Like all those times when you were a kid and did some very dumb stuff, that somehow those idiotic events resulted in no one being injured or killed. Maybe because of these events a large portion of your life’s luck was used up. I am fairly certain mine was, as I can think of times where I should have been paralyzed, or killed, or burned down an entire neighborhood. So looking back I guess I will take my 1 for 1 trade, besides I don’t think I have a choice. This is probably the reason I never gamble on anything, ever.